Hey everyone! I’m so glad you stopped by! I’m going to talk a little bit about something that seems to be a constant topic of ongoing conversation among school personnel (and parents of young children)…behavior (cue the dramatic music).
My apologies in advance because this is probably going to be a little long and a little preachy, but it’s something that I’m deeply passionate about. It’s the reason I gave a presentation with my former director, Sue Nuefeld, at the 2006 NAEYC conference in Atlanta entitled “I cant do anything with this kid! Using sensory strategies to support all learners”. It’s the reason why my very first year teaching, 17 years ago in Las Vegas, I created a “feelings rug” for my 21 second graders to help them problem solve their emotion during the school day. It’s why I created and have used “relaxation stations” in my classrooms for the past 12 years. The reason is because I fundamentally believe at the core of my teacher (and mama) heart that every behavior comes from a need and just like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, if students’ fundamental needs aren’t being met, you can’t do the Bloom stuff. I firmly believe that social emotional needs: a sense of stability, love, and confidence, fall into that fundamental needs category.
Your students need to know that you care and that you believe in them. Not the fluffy, empty, you believe in everyone or everyone gets a participation trophy kind of thing. I mean that they feel that you believe specifically in THEM. You know about their specific interests and their families. You know what frustrates them and what types of things they want to work for. It’s a lot to think about knowing for each student. The most essential component of helping students to be successful in your classroom (in my opinion) comes down to the relationship you have with them. Kids work much harder for someone they care about and respect, and who they know cares about and respects them back.
Now I’m going to say something that will challenge some of your beliefs as a teacher or parent. You can’t control your kids’ (whether they are your own or your students) behavior. Let me say it louder for the people in the back. You…can’t…control…someone…else’s…behavior. You can’t. Does it work for your friends, spouse, or family? My guess is no. You can’t control someone else’s response to situations, their emotions, or their thoughts.
One of the concepts that we all learn in our undergrad classes are about classroom management. There are whole classes and strategies built around the concept. I have a slight problem with that concept though. Viewing ourselves as a classroom manager sets us up to strive to be “in control”. It sets us up for power struggles, stress, and frustration for everyone (the children and us). If you try to control children and their behavior, you are setting yourself up for a power struggle every 👏 single 👏 time 👏. It doesn’t mean you can’t “win” but what has the child learned from that interaction? Have they learned skills that will help them manage their own behavior in the long run or have they learned that the specific behavior they exhibited shouldn’t happen in your specific situation. It’s a temporary fix or band-aid for a bigger issue.
If you can’t truly manage or control student behavior, what can you do? You can control your ENVIRONMENT and the STRATEGIES you put into place, and view yourself as a classroom facilitator, rather than a manager. The way you view yourself makes all of the difference. I can’t remember where I first read this and I’m completely paraphrasing, but basically – a manager manages people, a facilitator is about understanding the tools, structure, and strategies to help others.
You can consistently respond in a calm manner to student behavior instead of reacting to it. You can set up a specific time each day to walk your students through a guided outcome exercise. What we think and say about ourselves is what we become right? Every day my students go through our 5 non-negotiables and expectations for the day (I am safe. I am kind. I am super smart. I am a good friend. I’m going to have a great day). It takes 30 seconds. This hasn’t just worked with my preschool students, my husband used it with 47 sixth graders in his PE class with success. You can schedule class meetings to talk about and teach emotional vocabulary and check in with each student to see when they felt that way and then help them problem solve what they can do about that the next time it happens. You can teach calm down, sensory, and self-regulation strategies and then put those tools in a space in your classroom for your students to use when they need them. Will it interrupt the flow of your class initially? 100%, yes. Everyone will want a turn trying it all out because it’s a new, novel thing in the classroom. Let’s be real though, students interrupting class with their behavior is probably already happening in your classroom. Will the sensory strategies and relaxation station still be interrupting your class in two weeks? No. Kids move on quickly. The novelty will wear off and then only the students who truly need it will seek it out.
I’ll get into more of these specifics in future posts, but I wanted to post my core beliefs on this topic. It’s what has helped myself to set up my environment and the strategies I implement in my classroom so that every student who enters my classroom has a successful year. What about you? What beliefs or strategies have you found to be the most successful when working with your students?
The Purposeful Classroom 